grief - I lost that moment of purpose
fell off the horse
lost sight of my star
does not seeing it negate its existence?
ego - you will never be enough
look at all you've done, it doesn't matter
you don't matter,
desire for justice, desire to serve, desire to rest
desire to break windows and scream
desire to escape from myself
transcend my structure
destroy my safety nets
desire to love
desire to nurture
to be touched, tenderly
to be given compassion from an external source, as if feelings come from anywhere besides my body.
if I can release my old ways of thinking
if I can be still
if I can grieve the idea of "enough"
maybe I can find liberation